just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
