all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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