How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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