Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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