So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
