Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
