everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish you could order shots online.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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