just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
