You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize