if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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