I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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