from now on my penis is your penis
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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