You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
