its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
