That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
and you fell through a lawn chair
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
