It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So vagazzling was a success
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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