girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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