hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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