Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When did angry sex become our thing?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
