i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
