Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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