Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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