If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
