Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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