what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
