you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
