Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
