Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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