we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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