CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You have to summon your inner elephant
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize