I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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