How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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