Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
