My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The uberlube is also flammable
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
