Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
