happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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