I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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