do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
