Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
