can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
