found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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