she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
