Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just made my gag reflex go away.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
