I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
