There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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