About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
