hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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