Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wish you could order shots online.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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