dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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