he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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