I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
