I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize