Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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