he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize