I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
