I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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