A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
