whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize