No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
