he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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