i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
