I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
