i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
50% drunk capacity currently
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
