I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
