im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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