I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize