i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
