I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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