what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
